How to Describe Characters

In the old days, it wasn't unusual for an author to spend a whole page describing a character. People like Victor Hugo or Charles Dickens would create pictures of characters so sharp you could count the hairs on their toes. In fact, I'm sure if Charles Dickens knew about blood types, he would have told us what type of blood David Copperfield had.

Nowadays, people like to get to know a character without the author stopping the flow of the entire story for a lengthy description. To capture a character in a few sentences, put a clear and vibrant image in the reader's mind, a writer has to relate what distinguishes that character from everyone else, what their core personality trait is, and where that character fits in the cosmos.

J. K. Rowling excels at characterization. Here's all the descriptive prose we get when Harry meets Draco Malfoy:

...a boy with a pale, pointed face... (distinguishing physical traits)
He had a bored, drawling voice. (personality)
Harry was strongly reminded of Dudley. (place in Harry's world)

Put that together with Draco's dialog, which clearly shows his snobby personality, and he's perfectly captured in only a few words.

Later on, we meet Hermione:

She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes.
She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.
She said all this very fast.
"Whatever house I'm in, I hope she's not in it," said Ron.

And here's the Sorting Hat:

On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. 
This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty.
Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house.

What I like best about these descriptions is that besides listing a few physical traits and giving clues about the character's personality, each character is assigned a place in the universe. For Harry, Draco is another Dudley. Hermione is that girl you hope you don't get stuck with as a lab partner. The Sorting Hat is something Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let in the house (which since we're not on Aunt Petunia's side makes us love it at once).

NOW YOU TRY:

Here's your writing exercise. You, too, can create a whole fictional character in only a few sentences.

1. Make a list of physical features. Pick two or three that are the most significant for that character.

2. What is this character's core personality? Can you show them doing something that demonstrates this trait?

3. How does this person fit into the cosmos? What is this character's place in the world? What category does this character belong to? Who or what would the reader be reminded of if they met this character?

Now put it all together. Write a short paragraph, with dialog if you like, introducing this character that includes the key physical features, some action that demonstrates the character's core personality, and a sentence that ties this new character to something in either the reader's or the point-of-view character's past experience, giving the character a place in the cosmos.

Post your writing exercise in the comments, if you dare.

Seeing the Setting Through Emotional Lenses

“The only way of expressing emotion in the form of art is by finding an "objective correlative"; in other words, a set of objects, a situation, a chain of events which shall be the formula of that particular emotion; such that when the external facts, which must terminate in sensory experience, are given, the emotion is immediately evoked.”

    --T.S. Eliot

Translation: when it comes to emotion, SHOW DON'T TELL.

We've all heard that, but HOW IS IT DONE?

When does tell become show?

George was nervous. (definitely telling)

George's heart pounded. (Sort of showing, but still mostly telling. I'm telling you his heart pounded. Why is that different from telling you he was nervous? It's even more ambiguous. Is he scared or excited?)

"Relax. This won't hurt a bit." The dentist held the drill poised over George's face. The drill motor whirred. George stared at the yellow-brown stain on the ceiling and wished he had paid for better dental insurance.

Now I don't need to tell you that George is nervous or that his heart is pounding. I've put you in his head and you're seeing things through his current emotional filter. He's noticing the drill in front of his nose, the sound of the motor, the stained ceiling. How does he feel? Mommy, get me out of this chair!

This is the objective correlative. You've got to choose what your characters notice based on how the characters are feeling at the time, then relate those things to the reader. Paint an emotional picture with objects, situations, and events. Give your reader the facts, and let the emotion come out on its own.

Here's your writing exercise. Get your notebook and write down four emotional states, spacing them out on the page. Then walk into another room in your house. Any room you like. Describe that room through each of your four emotional filters.

Happy writing!