MECHANICS
Here's something they don't teach you in school. How to punctuate dialog. When you submit a story for publication they can spot you as an amateur right away if you get your commas and periods mixed up.
"Give me my book," Sarah said.
I asked, "What book?"
VS.
"Give me my book." Sarah leaned so close I could feel her hot breath on my nose.
I backed away. "What book?"
To understand how to punctuate dialog, first you need to know the difference between a tag and a beat. A tag is like a label. It just tells the reader who said something. A beat is a sentence. It can stand on its own.
Tags:
Sarah said
I asked
Beats:
Sarah leaned so close I could feel her hot breath on my nose
I backed away
When you pair a line of dialog with a tag, separate them with a comma.
If you use a beat, separate with periods.
PACING
"Give me," Sarah leaned close, "my book." I could feel her hot breath on my nose. "NOW!"
If you want, you can insert beats or tags when you want the reader to feel a pause in a sentence. In this case, since you're breaking up the dialog in the middle of a sentence, go ahead and use a comma even if what follows is a beat. But at the end of a sentence of dialog, put a period.
"What book?" I backed away. "Did I take your book?" I eased the toe of
my shoe a little further under the couch to make sure the spine of the
book was out of sight. "I didn't see any book here," I said. "Did you?"
You can also break up several sentences of dialog with tags or beats to indicate that a character is speaking haltingly. This is an advanced technique and should be used sparingly. It can get annoying if you constantly switch back and forth between dialog and tags or beats, but it can also be very effective.
And don't forget to put a paragraph break between different speakers. Also, if you have the same speaker go on uninterrupted for more than one paragraph, it is a really good idea to start the new paragraph with a tag or beat so the reader knows you are not changing speakers.
Keep writing!
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